WHAT! A!! YEAR!!!
This year must’ve been our most prolific year on the State by a lot. And boy were there some massive bangers. Of course, that was to be expected. Between Dabar, Kay Parker, and our new friends B.Z. Fanti and Marquise “Jay” Parker, there was never a doubt that we would have an all-timer of a year.
Anyone who imagined to themselves that we’d try to do a top ten must not wish for sanity for us, because to attempt ranking these stories is to ask for a consistent, week-long headache. So, instead, we decided to do a review in no particular order. Dabar has his, and now, here’s mine.
MTD: WEDDING BELLS
If anyone, I mean ANYONE, made the choice not to jump on this epilogue to the ultimate series on here, we might need to deploy Kofi, Darlow and Nico Blaze’s shattas to have a small conversation with them. The King of Dabar knew how much we’d all missed our favorite family, and boy did he serve up a lasting dessert of a story with this one!
First off, if we took a shot for everytime Lari threatened Diamond, and a double for every time Diamond claimed Daniel as her own, we’d be be useless for a week. I have a feeling that those two will forever be fighting over this man, even as Diamond has a husband of her own! Also, more D.A.K’s! (If you know, you know.)
Next up, the vibes! It was so refreshing to see how much the entire Dolphyne clan still very much got along with each other (and never resisted the chance to roast Toby to ashes.) Then we had the few moments between Daniel and Lari (remember when he had to remind her that Kidi wouldn’t tell his daughter to shake it for daddy, and then she had to eat the L she never saw coming?) There were the sweet moments between Lari and Diamond, and then the two phases of the main event, and then the reception, which was nothing short of immaculate!
It was awesome to see the return of a healthy Akinyi. It was also perfect that she had not lost her wit, which she duly dished to Toby on the engagement day (See the end of Episode 4.) It was also a treat to see Chief Tay (who was the MVP for real with the DJ hookup. What a guy. Consider how he got introduced to the Dolphynes, and how much he vibes with them now.)
Congratulations to Edem and Diamond!
A PLAYA & SOME SHATTAS
As a general rule: Know. Your. Audience!
As a key rule: Don’t. Mess. With. People!
These are usually rules you could follow by default just by treating people right. But Mr. Damien McCarthy chose to messed around and find out the hard way, and man did he! There’s nothing like slow-built, purely petty vengeance to make someone feel the burn of the fire they started. First, the motorcycle whizzing past him, then the rainwater they splashed on him, all the way down till they finally went full bore and turned him into a prisoner of a pleasure he used to get for free. Nico Blaze is the kind of gangster you’d want in your corner; man handled family business in a way which put his sister in eternal control of the life of the fool who played her so badly.
Also, can we acknowledge Vivica’s firmness with her principles? Girl stood her ground without apology and made sure she didn’t fall for his good boy act. If only Lily had followed Viv’s playbook before giving up the cookie…
SONS OF ELLIS
There’s a reason why Israel feared God so much.
There’s also a reason why old school christians had such a reverence for Him. The minute that man Finn decided to say with his full chest that he’d be dead if God actually existed, he was scheduled to know that reason.
First off, props to Marcus Sam. In the midst of absolute depravity and corruption in the house of God, he held firm and remained loyal to the bishop. It is unbelievable how many humans would use the knowledge he had against their head pastor just to get him kicked out. He chose to stick purely with God all the way through, and he reaped his harvest.
Now, you cannot begin to imagine just how much I enjoyed the swift justice that hit Salma, Reverend Christie, and the Ellis boys. Salma’s was really awesome because door handles aren’t designed to kill, but there’s always the exception on account of messing with the wrong one. Reverend Christie’s…well, revenge is a dish best served anonymously. What was it the bible said? Those who live by the sword would die by the…sword! The boys’ was probably my favorite because they were so united in evil that it was only right that they died out of division. Who tries to fight someone who’s driving at high speed on a highway?
The one sad part of all of this was that Reverend Ellis was actually trying to make the necessary moves to realign his organization; he was simply too slow. If only he had acted sooner rather than later.
WE RIOT
Did anyone else already know the origin of the word AWAM? Because I was in the dark on that subject until this story came around.
And much of the foolishness that the Englishmen of the day engaged in was exactly what that word came to mean much later on: absolute BS.
I always rolled my eyes at the apathy masking as faith that Naa Anyema engaged in, but then that hospital visit had me completely irked with her. While other men’s wives were consoling their husbands, she made the choice to sit on the highest of horses, which did little to help abate the rising frustration in her husband’s heart. His eventual blitzing of her may have been tough, but no one can argue that it was unjustified.
As an aside, if anyone ever imagined that colonialists truly regretted their actions as they often claim, there is a two-word response that should erase that thought: Colin. Imray. The fact that he went on to receive commendation for what he did? Unbelievable. Just…unbelievable.
It warms my heart to know that in the real-life story, this madness set off a series of events that led to the one thing that every Ghanaian actually wanted: Independence.
CLEMENTINE
Loyalty is always a fair request in a relationship. In fact, it should be expected.
Not this kind. Certainly not like this.
The minute Akwesi heard the words, “Once you enter, you’re never getting out,” he should’ve known that this one was completely loco. But the man had done six months of work to get to that point, and man did he suffer more. First, she created a situation which made Akwesi to want her living with him full time, and then she proceeded to literally turn his house upside down. (Game console right next to a boiling pot of soup? Gahh-daaamn!) And the worst part was, she actually thought it was all out of love.
There really must’ve been a world where she would have been the most loving girlfriend ever. Unfortunately, nurture had already dealt so badly with her that she never stood a chance. Good ol’ Willie Earl had already set the blueprint for being controlling and two-faced, two traits which combined to produce a deadly woman. To be fair, he had every reason to be heartbroken and ruthless, but what a way to go about getting retribution. Just leave! But no, he made sure to create this psycho of a daughter and inadvertently made it everyone’s problem.
In the end, she took away everything he’d worked for while leaving him hanging by a thread. She was so good at the latter that she did it twice, and he still never saw her coming. Poor guy. All he did was talk to a female colleague and just like that, his days were numbered immediately.
Kay Parker has never given us any sane main characters, and it was clear he had no intention of starting now…
DELIRANT REGES
This was a personal favorite out of this year’s set of stories on the State. It also happened to be the debut story of the other half of the terrible twins: B.Z. Fanti. (If you do not know the other half, pray you never meet him.) A great retelling of the story of the ten plagues. Also a needed reminder of the importance of keeping one’s ego in check.
Under normal circumstances, it would make perfect sense to simply let the entire workforce of a country go free to start their own land. Normal circumstances would also require that there be some kind of plan to replace that much lost labour, which the Pharaoh, or even Tes-Amen, would’ve thought about.
Unfortunately, none of this was normal.
Pharaoh was a man who’d been set up to fail from the very beginning. Tabia knew that the Hebrews’ departure was a good thing, but the men around her could never have seen just how good it was. All they saw was a depleted labour force and a struggling country. Tabia may have been shocked and confused, but Tes-Amen was never going to question the financial benefits of Pharaoh’s plan. Unfortunately, that plan ended with Tabia being a widow. Truly unfortunate for her.
If you ever get too big for your shoes, this story should cut you down to size in a hurry.
FRENEMY OF MY BESTIE
There are ways to use what you know about someone against them. To do it to your best friend? That’s just inhumane.
This one started out pretty simple: Boris chose to spoil his best friend Lara on her birthday. That’s what friends do. That’s what best friends do.
It could’ve ended there. All she had to do was gush and say thank you and then go back to roasting him. But no, she decided that it was time for a little experiment: get Boris to say he loves her. Never mind the fact that she had a serious boyfriend (very light emphasis on the ‘serious’ there; how do you get everything you want from the girl and then you can’t even commit?) Never mind the fact that Boris had worked with said boyfriend to make her feel like a queen on her birthday, and had never actually expressed interest. Then, when her plans failed for two months, she resorted to extreme measures cos the girl’s ego was heavily tripped. What the hell kinda best friend was she?
As for her friend Cecilia, the phrase ‘fire burn her’ does not do justice to just how much vawulence needed to happen to her. Rather than talk sense into Lara, she actually advanced the cause of evil and tried to get Lara to steal what she probably would’ve gotten anyway from Boris. Bad friends who also have bad friends are the worst people ever.
I for one felt no sorrow within me when Boris said the magic words, “Tell the boys to have a good time.”
14 DAYS
Ellie did not deserve to be cheated on.
If Richie had allowed temporary passions to take over and make him do this woman dirty, I would’ve been okay with the sea swallowing him whole. Hell, I wouldn’t even have bothered to report his death if I’d witnessed it.
Marilyn was what some people I know would refer to as a “demonic distraction.” The entire point of her was to mess up the wonderful thing Richie had. Would he even have been cool continuing with his passion for Bons Farms if he’d gone down that road with this girl? Just look at how good of a wife Ellie was to him. She was an absolute dream, and he knew it too. His love for her was real, and it was laid bare for all to see when he felt so guilty about almost cheating. He’d barely dipped his toe in the water and he already felt so wrong. Its hard to imagine that he would’ve been the same if he’d gone with the wild spirit that was Marilyn.
Now, to be fair, he had no business entertaining her, and even less business being in another woman’s room without his wife. You know for a fact that if he ever has to travel again, she’s going with him.
A QUEST FOR BLISS
It’s one thing to be fooled. It’s a whole other thing to be fooled with your pants down.
And this fool Grant, who may actually be the undisputed biggest fool on the State, managed to somehow do both.
First off, this man had never met the Adjo chick before. But then he really said with a straight face that the girl wasn’t into hookups. And then he got to Kumerica, and basically ended up in a room with this same girl AND her friend? But somehow she wasn’t into hookups? Girl really found herself the perfect mark with this guy.
Add to that the part where he didn’t even question where this second girl Charlenae came from, but he was with the action. Bruh, how distracted must you be to completely miss the red danger signs in front of you? Granted, I was not expecting the girls to be part of a crew of robbers, but none of this looked like it was going anywhere good.
Next time, if you want to be a mark, at least stay in your own damn town and be fooled there.
SCORNED
No lie, anytime your level of hatred puts you in a place where you’re petty enough to send your wife a voice recording of you and your side piece screwing, you deserve whatever you get. If you feel any kind of bad for this man, I have a wonderful girl named Clementine whom I’d love for you to meet.
The disrespect that Princess has to bear from Ferdinand was unreal. And he didn’t even try to hide Kirania from her. In fact, he’d empowered Kirania so much that she really chose to humiliate Princess in public, when all Princess tried to do was reason with her, woman to woman. Why do people always choose the hard way to get to the same place they would get to on the easy road? And then this man actually chose to kick his own wife out of their house for a side piece? That one alone earned Ferdinand a painful penance. Not to mention the part where he got physical with her as well. People must really be on to something when they say that some men have their brains in the wrong place.
I’ll tell you what, though, B.Z. really set us up with Andy. This was a guy who was actually a softie for this woman, but was also the top hard guy in a gang. And then we got introduced to what Princess has apparently been running from, and somehow I actually got even happier with her. To want someone to go back to a life of crime for the sake of revenge? B.Z. really flipped us all to the badside!
AWKWARD WEEKEND
It has to be a crime for parents to have their daughters’ exes over at the same time as the actual fiancés. It should be an immediate jail sentence to blatantly prefer the horrible ex over the fiancé who they don’t even know.
With that being said, Robin was dead wrong!
Make no mistake, Vincent should not have been anywhere near the area, let alone in the house, especially on that weekend. (He was also the ass who tried to make the most of it, but that’s another subject.) The whole breakfast pettiness plus the father’s extra distaste for Jay on account of their differences in musical taste was also wholly unnecessary.
But man! This girl really said screw it, and then proceeded to break the biggest unspoken rule of any home with those kinds of parents…and loudly too! Then she went full knife murderer and literally turned the house bloody in the name of love. Bruh, I would run from her ass the second the coast was clear too. I can’t even hold Jay for bailing on account of seeing that many red flags in one sitting.
The fact that this was the very first story of the year tells you everything you need to know about this State: we only love peace in real life but certainly not in the world of fiction.
And with that, we wish you all a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year. Cheers to whatever madness 2024 has in store for the State of Dabar!